I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
