absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize