I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just forgot I was standing up.
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