the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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