I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
