Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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