Buhtt sex?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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