that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
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