Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
