I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
She said her name was "party"
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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