Just cropdusted the office
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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