i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
