She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
