I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
