How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize