my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
