When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
