you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
