please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
