consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
