You can't motorboat a personality
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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