the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
