I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize