Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
