Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
