I like my sex mixed with concussions.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
My breasts were aching with rage.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
