I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
