ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
ugly people sure do ruin things
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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