I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
