Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Enjoy the penises
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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