My sheets look like a crime scene.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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