I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
