i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
