How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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