um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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