Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
accomplished twins. life is a go
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Randomize
