You don't have asthma, your pregnant
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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