Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
