She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
false alarm. still invincible.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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