Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
