conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
