If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Randomize
