apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize