I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Randomize
