piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
