Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
