I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
