My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
