It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
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