all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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