So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
