so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
