I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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