Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
