You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
