Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
