first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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