Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
