Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
