if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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