I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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