my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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