After last night, I could never be a politician.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
