guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
