So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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