Midget sex pt 2 tonight
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
