I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Your cock deserves a montage
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
